Farewell my Youth?!

I guess nobody will ever read this blog. No one wants to read and know about my life. I'm not attention seeker yet I like to post my feeling..Hmm?? Just some random rant.

I'm  will be in mid 20's soon. My University life will be end soon if I don't further study( not that I looking for it). Looking behind, I did not know what I leave behind. By times my youth was gone. Gone days laughing, act crazy, and crying with my friends. ime always lost and what remain is just memories

Unfortunately, I don't  keep enough my memories enough. My day is just in front of the computer, watching drama, gossiping and just act immature. I wish I doing something meaningful in my life before I die. will I be able to?

To anyone who reads this..well maybe it just me wh have no Idea what she wrote before,  I alwaus like to write the blog when I'm  haveing mood swing. It is either I excited or I am very excited about something.Heol...
end of my rant
 goodbe to my youth soon!
 Wishing and hoping that I will be a reliabe and mature person when I reach the end of my sweet 20's year

Arashi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Arashi=Storm
Arashi is a japanese idol group. They celebrating their 15 years recently by having a concert in Hawaii.
I started became their fan around June 2014. quite recent right
well i know matsujun since Hana yori Dango.
But during that rime I only know him as the brat aka Doumyuji Tsukasa
What I love about them?
I watched their dvd concert accidentally.
I never ever being a concert. but from what I know the singer is singing on the stage
But Arashi concert is different
They have moving stage, firework, and some extraordinary props.
it cost a lot to go to their concert
I laso like their song.
Some of the song have very meaningful meaning at least for me since i'm struggle doing my PSM.
yeah.
Singing their song and watch the dvd concert release my tension.
I don't watch kpop mv lately as much as I used too.
Hope if there Arashi Blast Hawaii dvd concert sell,
 during that time i already work and have enough salary for buying the dvd.

random rant since i got no one to tell about arashi around my peers.
Gambatte Arashi!!!!!!!!!

a world problem? naa..my heart toying with me

I feel like I have a have heart full of worries. i can't explain the feeling. When I'm alone sitting doing work and hearing a slow song that feeling came. Like I have the world burden on my shoulder. Sigh..i'm not the type of person that tell my problem to others. I get a feeling that if I tell, that person will never understand me and the respond that they give just not sincere. Just a sweet word from them to calm my heart..Perhaps this feeling will never ceased as ..well life is surrounded with problem
But I will try..

At least i will try to stay positive, never to run from my problem again, and be sincere to others..Not succumb to my sad emotion otherwise i may get depression. I wish not..
In a bright side,

i know I'm not alone. 

i will never know the future that wait for me or what difficulty that I will face

Perhaps that make my life full of excitement. Right?.

the success, failure, happy and sad moment that I faces make me a better human

The view

Just taking picture when I free and when no one is around.. :p

Anyone can tell me what is this? i guess it is a Turkey..Am I right?

EsCape from the Reality of Life

Does escape from responsible make you feel happy? Depend, usually yes but only for a certain period of time. There is always consequence on everything you did. Run away from problem and responsibilities is never the solution since it will haunt you :p. that may sound extreme. 

But it is true. I know i did wrong by not facing the problem, so feeling of guilty is always with me. Sometimes, it also appear in my dream. 

New problem can be arise when running away.If you are lucky, the problem may be solve, but you keep thinking why you don't have power to solved it. The memory of being small,powerless will always be there.

That is what I learned from my experience. You may take a rest, but not escape from the reality. Sooner or later, I still need to face it. so why procrastinate?

Starting Fresh and New

I decide to start fresh and new. For how long? I'm certain it is for a long time. I need to fix and patch my problem before I start. My new book may not as clean as others, it is better than a dirty one, right? 

I believe that I can do it!!

The lowest time in my life

Sad but true. i'm consider right now, at this moment when i writing this post i'm at my lowest time in my life. Uncertain about the future. Did't trust anybody or maybe just an ego problem lead to i don't tell people about my problems. The truth is scary, so i ran from it. right now, i just want to shut off myself from my friends because of his uncertainty feeling inside myself. Comparing myself from the past and this moment, i feel empty. Losing the passion that i have when young. it's my fault. since I live on the past not the present. hoping that all is beautiful as a rainbow. Now i know rainbow still fade away. The statement all is well is not true. All IS WELL because you put effort. I hope by the time i read this post, i will not in my lowest time.